Whatcha textin bout Willis?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
