1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
