grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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