last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
