Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I smell like Dick and happiness
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
