Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
