One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
sex in a hospital.. check
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
