plz talk dirty to me
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
