He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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