Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
