there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
