oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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