can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
