The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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