His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Randomize
