Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
