is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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