So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
