just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
