I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
