We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
