i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
