yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
