Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Randomize
