My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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