I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
