I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
