No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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