so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
