Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
