i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
