Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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