direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
