ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
