you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
