glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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