We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
