Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
