you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
i need some magic done to my vagina
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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