we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
