He is an equal opportunity slut.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
