You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
