I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
