Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
