so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
