i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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