Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
