I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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