Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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