Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
