Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
